If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
