Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize