you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
