I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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