I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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