Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
