at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
