at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Threesome in a minivan. New low
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
