Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
