it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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