The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
