Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
