I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
