let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
