honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
