I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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