your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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