i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
