Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize