My nipple is on Facebook.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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