Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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