Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
