I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
