in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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