For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
