i just sent this text using only my big toe
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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