i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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