Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
