why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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