there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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