She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
