Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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