woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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