girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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