i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize