Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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