Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize