$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize