Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize