So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
