Already got asked if we're dating
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
