I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
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