omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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