Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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