The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
