um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
handjob tips. give me some.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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