I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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