he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We need to get me chipped asap
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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