i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
