I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize