I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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