there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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