He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize