So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
