get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
