her vagine was all disorganized.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
