Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
