Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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