oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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