I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She bit a glass in half.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
