i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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