I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
