...so i touched it.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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