How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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