we have officially lost it.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize