she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
