miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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