dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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