you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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