remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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