It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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