Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
