It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
