Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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