she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
