love makes seman taste better
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize