All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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