He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
