it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
