come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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