Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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