Say something about gay babies.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize