That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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