when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize