He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
